Archive | March, 2014

Moving on.

3 Mar

This post isn’t going to be like most of my blog posts on here and actually, it might not have much to do with Disney but I feel like this all needs to be said somewhere. 

Growing up is always a difficult thing – more responsibilities, more bills, and unfortunately, more loss. When I say loss, I don’t want you to think about everyone around you dying because of old age, I mean loss as in losing things that once had a high value and/or importance in your life. 

One such casualty of growing up is losing a friendship that you expected to last forever. I’ve recently been experiencing this type of loss over the past few days and as much as I say I’m fine with it – part of me is still hurt and confused over why. 

I can’t give too many details away but this person that cut themselves out of my life entirely was one of my anchors throughout college and my transition into becoming a cast member. They would keep me grounded when I’d let my dreams or fears get the best of me, they would lend a sympathetic ear to my troubles, and most of all, they had my complete trust. I was utterly smitten with them for almost 4 years – even when the times were rough. This person and I may have been more than friends at some point but before and after, I still considered them to be my best friend. 

Why wouldn’t they be after we shared so much history: Movie nights, late night drives with a new mix cd, chats about life, adventures around town, navigating the Greek system, and even graduating together – just to name a few things.

I guess I knew all along that matters of the heart make friendships messy and complicated but I never expected it to happen to me. I guess I sensed it coming when our conversations seemed to grow shorter and shorter or when the disclosure levels weren’t matching up. I guess I was a fool for not realizing it sooner. I guess I thought you meant it when you agreed to staying friends. 

I’d be lying if I said I’m not hurt, I’d be lying if I said I’m not confused but I know I’m not lying when I say this will make me stronger. While I most likely will never get the chance to say this to their face – I wish them complete happiness in life, I wish them the best of luck. I also wish that they could have told me how they felt about everything rather than cutting me out the way that they did. 

But, like the seasons change and flow from one to the next – I know that I’m going to move on. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to gain so much more now that I’ve cut free from that anchor. I’m going to sail into new and uncharted territory with my sails blowing in the wind – filled with freedom, dreams, and new friendships that inspire me.